Name: Kana
Title: Support
Story: Circle Never Ends
Characters: Freya, Nick, Liam, Susan
Colors: True Blue 1 Bromance - Cherry Blossom Pink 13 Karaoke – Peach 9 We are in, what you call, the Big Puddle
Supplies and Styles: Bichromatic - Stained Glass – Mural – Fingerpainting (for the Mural) – Paint by Numbers (from Subluxate : In the middle of the deep)
Word count: 10258
Rating: PG
Summary: Friendship means you’re allowed to call in the middle of the night when you need someone to listen and just be there.
Notes: Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome


1 : Nick


The sudden noise wakes him abruptly. He sits up straight. Sleepy eyes looking around, trying to locate the sound that woke him. He grunts when he realises it is his cell phone. Closing his eyes he lets himself fall back down on the mattress. Blindly his hand reaches for the bedside table.

“Hello?”

There is only one person who would call him in the middle of the night. And it is only for that person that he would actually pick up his phone when being called in the middle of the night.

“Hey Nick.”

The voice of his best friend. They have been through a lot together. The bond between them so strong that even calling in the middle of the night won’t harm it.

“Liam. What’s the matter?”

Of course there is concern in his voice. Because no matter how crazy he sometimes is, Liam would never actually call unless something happened. Text messages throughout the entire night. Yes. But they are easy to ignore, so Liam is used to not always get a reply. But actually calling… Only when something is seriously wrong.

“She left.”

Tired Nick rubs his eyes.

“Left? What do you mean left?”

He can hear the shaking in Liam’s voice.

“She left. She took a bag, with some clothes and her wallet and cell phone and keys and she left.”

Surprised Nick opens his eyes. Never having thought Susan would leave…They were perfect for one other. He has never heard them fight. Never heard of a fight between them. And Liam tells him everything. As does he.

“Oh gosh. You don’t mean that.”

It’s not a question. It doesn’t require a reaction.

“Fuck. Liam I’m sorry to hear.”

His friend stays silent and out of experience Nick knows what that means.

“Liam.”

He’s wide awake now. Sitting straight up in his bed again. His back against the wall. A soft sob at the other end of the line. Quickly followed by a whispered “sorry”. A mere whisper. It makes Nick shake his head.

“Don’t apologise. Don’t you dare apologizing.”

It has a double meaning, and Liam knows it. He doesn’t have to apologise for calling in the middle of the night. And certainly not for crying.

“Want to come over?”

He stays silent for a little while. And Nick knows better than to push.

“No, it’s okay. I won’t hold you up any longer.”

“Oh for Heaven’s sake Liam. You know this doesn’t bother me.”

Vaguely he can hear his friend chuckle.

“Honest. Want to come over? I can make pizza. There’s coke. Or fruit juice.”

The spontaneous laugh at the other end of the phone makes him smile. And he knows, he just knows, that Liam wants to come over. He’s just too polite to accept. And too proud to admit he needs some comfort. Although… He did call…

“Get your ass over here Liam. Send me a text when you’ve arrived and I’ll select some movies in the meanwhile.”

Another moment of silence.

“Thanks Nick.”

He nods, eyes closed, before realizing that Liam can’t see him.

“Don’t mention it.”

The sigh only escapes him when he puts the phone down. He wonders what happened that made Susan leave. He’ll hear all about that in a little while, he’s sure.

-

“Ding Dong”

Nick laughs when he reads the text message on his cell phone. Already he knows things will work out okay. He feels it. Whatever happened between Liam and Susan, it will be alright in the end.

“You took your time.”

It’s no accusation. It’s a simple statement and he knows Liam can read between the lines.

“I called her.”

Nick nods. “Yeah, I figured.”

He steps aside, let’s Liam enter the house.“Come in.”

They set themselves on the couch. The smell of pizza already filling the living room.

“You actually meant that! You’ve put pizzas in the oven?”

Nick smiles when he hears the other one laugh. Whatever has happened… It is nearly fixed already.

“So, want to talk about it?”

For a second he sees his eyes cloud over. Is surprised when Liam starts talking.

“I was drunk yesterday. Really drunk. And I...”

Nick’s eyes widen. And Liam sees, what everybody would think, written on his friend's face. It all disappears the moment he registers it though.

“I didn’t hit her, if that is what you are thinking.”

Nick shakes his head. “It crossed my mind for a second, but the thought was gone again before I could really think about it. It’s not you. And I’ve known you drunk. You’d never hit her. Never.”

There is gratitude to be seen on Liam’s face.

“I’d never hit her.”

Soft whisper. Before he continues in a normal voice.

“I said some mean stuff to her though. I don’t remember the entire conversation, but the parts that I do remember... I’ve said some very cruel stuff to her.”

He shakes his head. Still not able to believe he actually said such things.

“I’m not going to repeat what I said. Not even to you. Not now. Perhaps later. But... I fell asleep without realising she left.”

Nick makes a sound in the back of his throat. Interrupting, wanting to say something. His friend participated it though.

“Yes, she left last night. Not now. Not this night. It is only now that I realised it. I was at university the entire day. Like always. And so was she. I think. She wasn’t home when I came back. I tried to convince myself she’d come back a little later. That she went training, or visited some friends, or had an extra class...”

The oven beeps and they go to the kitchen.

“It wasn’t until after dinner – when she still wasn’t home – that I dared to admit it to myself. She wasn’t coming home and she had taken a bag with her. She wasn’t planning on coming back.”

They set themselves back on the couch, each a slice of pizza and a coke.

“I was devastated. I can’t live without her Nick. I can’t.”

Nick puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“You called her after calling me. Before coming over. What did she say. What did you say?”

He can see the smile on Liam’s face. That happy honest smile he reserves for when he thinks about Susan.

“I told her I’m sorry. And I told her I love her. And I said I’ve been a fool and I was sorry and I didn’t know what to do if she’d leave me and...”

Liam closes his eyes for a second.

“She said she was sorry as well. For something she said before I started freaking out. And she said it was alright. And that she loved me. And...”

He looks at Nick, meeting his eyes.

“She made me promise something.”

A questioning gaze from his friend.

“You’ll be happy about it.”

Nick narrows his eyes. He might suspect what she asked.

“I promised I’d stop drinking.”

Smiling Nick puts down his plate, taking the plate of Liam out of his hands and putting it on the table as well. Before hugging his friend.

“I’m glad.”

Liam pats him on the back.

“Right. It’s late. Or better said, early. You want to go back to sleep?”

Nick shakes his head when he lets his best friend go.

“No, I’m pretty much awake right now. We put on a movie?”

Liam nods. “Sure, I’m not yet tired.”

Nick stands up and puts the DVD on. “For how much are we going to bet we’ll be sleeping on the couch before we’re halfway the movie?”

They laugh and Liam puts his hand on Nick’s arm when he sets himself back down.

“Are you sure your parent’s won’t mind when they get down in a few hours?”

He shakes his head. “No. I think not. And if they do. Well... Don’t mind that.”

Again Liam hears what is not said.

“You needed this. And you’re my best friend. How could I not help you out here?”

There is a grateful smile on Liam’s lips.

-

“Morning boys.”

His mother's cheerful voice wakes them up when she swings the curtains open. They both grunt and rub their eyes.

“Are you alright Liam?”

Of course she'd ask. She heard Nick's phone in the middle of the night. Heard her son get up and get downstairs. Heard him open the front door a while later. Heard the oven beep.

She doesn't mind. Is glad they are such good friends. Knows that, if the roles had been reversed, Liam would do just the same for Nick.

“Yes, I am. Thank you.”

He smiles and it is answered by a smile of Nick's mother.

“I'll make breakfast. Anyone a special order?”

“Oh, scrambled eggs, please.”

Nick grunts when he hears his best friend so awake. It makes his mother laugh. “And for you?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing for the moment. But thanks.”

Liam hits his shoulder. “You need to eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

Nick just raises his eyebrows.

“As is lunch and dinner.”

Laughing Liam and Nick’s mother roll their eyes.

“But that’s not the point. You have to eat something.”

“Don’t worry Liam. I will. In an hour or something. Not now. Not yet. It’s too early and I really can’t get any food inside for the moment.”

His friend shrugs. “Any plans this evening? We are meeting up with some friends. If you want to join us?”

Nick shakes his head. “Sorry, we’re going to a karaoke bar this evening with some from ju-jitsu. But you’re always welcome to come over as well with the entire gang.”

He can see Liam’s eyes widen for a second. Can see the playful look in them.

“I’m going to regret saying that, am I not?”

“Hell yes you are.”




2 : Freya


Surprised Freya looks at Susan. Standing in front of her door. A duffel bag at her feet. Such a sad look on her face. Dried trails of tears on her cheeks. Eyes still red from crying.

Without a word she steps aside, letting her friend walk into her house. Taking over the bag when she sees her stumble a little.

“I’m sorry to suddenly pass by, without warning you, but I didn’t know where else I could go and…”

Freya shakes her head. Putting the bag on the ground in the hallway. Before moving closer and hugging Susan.

“Don’t worry. You know you can drop in here anytime. No matter what. No matter when.”

Her eyes widen when she feels Susan cling to her, her face against her shoulder. Hiding. It is never good when Susan tries to hide. Tears are slowly seeping through her T-shirt.

She rubs her friend’s back.

“Hey. Come on. Let’s get in the living room. I’ll make you a hot choco. And I still have some delicious chocolate cake. I think you can use that.”

Susan smiles sadly when she frees herself out of Freya’s embrace. Wiping away the tears and nodding.

“Yeah, I could do with some chocolate.”

Freya guides her friend to the couch and disappears to the kitchen.

“Such nice comfort food. I can use some nice comfort food.”

It’s a soft whisper but Freya still catches it. There is a worried look on her face when she turns her head, watching Susan. She looks lost. And alone. Abandoned. Staring into nothing.

Shaking her head she prepares two cups of hot choco – with lots of real chocolate – and puts the chocolate cake on a plate. She wonders what has happened that made Susan act like this. It’s strange – and worrisome – because her friend is not someone who is easily shaken up like this.

Susan looks up when Freya hands her the cup of choco. Her eyes blank. Never before has Freya seen her like that.

“Do you want to stay the night?”

A grateful look on Susan’s face when she nods. Before she places down the cup
on the table. Pulling up her feet beneath her.

“Are you sure?”

Freya nods. “Of course. You don’t have to ask. How can you ask?”

It’s a little reprimanding. Susan would never doubt her like this.

Smiling a little, Susan leans closer, letting her head rest on Freya’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

She wraps an arm around Freya’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

Of course she wants to know what has happened. But Freya will not ask for an explanation. She knows Susan will tell her everything. The moment she is ready…

After a couple of minutes Susan sits back up again, taking a sip from her hot choco. Shivering slightly.

They eat the chocolate cake in silence. They have never minded the silence. Today is nothing different. Despite Susan’s state.

"I love him Freya.”

Surprised she looks aside. Susan’s gaze is fixed on the wall. The empty mug still in her hand.

“I love that guy so much.”

“I know you do. Liam is a great guy.”

Her friend nods. “Except when he is drunk.”

Freya’s eyes open wide. For a second the thought he has hit her enters her mind. But she knows Liam. Knows him very well. He adores Susan. He would never hit her. Never.

“I just… I just don’t want him to drink anymore.”

She knows what her friend is talking about. Liam likes to drink. It’s not as if he has a drinking problem. It’s not as if he drinks that often even. But when he drinks… When he’s out with friends and they drink and no one keeps an eye on them… She has never seen Liam drunk. Never. But she can imagine it.

“We had a fight. Partly because he was drunk again – I can’t stand it if he gets drunk. And he. He just flipped. Verbally.”

Susan looks aside. “He’d never hit me.” Her voice sounds accusing. Knowing the thought has crossed Freya’s mind.

She looks back in front of her when she sees Freya nod.

“He was so rude. And mean. And… Even cruel. He has never spoken to me like that before. I have never heard him speak like that to anyone before.”

Susan shakes her head. As if she still can’t believe what has happened this night.

“I don’t think he noticed I left. I packed my bag, my wallet and cell phone and keys and I left. I just left… And ended up in front of your door. So late in the evening. And you have to go to work tomorrow. And…”

Freya gently puts her hand on Susan’s shoulder. Interrupting her.

“Don’t you dare apologizing. You know I don’t mind. You know I’m always here for you if you need me. Alright?”

Her friend nods.

“Thank you.”

They stay silent for a little while. And to Freya’s surprise, it is Susan who eventually breaks it again.

“You should go to bed Freya. You have to go to work tomorrow. And, theoretically speaking, I have to go to school.”

Freya smiles and rolls her eyes. “Theoretically speaking…”

Susan just shrugs. “I know it’s my last year. And I can’t afford to screw up. But. One day? I really don’t feel like going tomorrow. Beside. Liam will be there. I don’t want to… I can’t face him yet Freya.”

She nods. “Alright.”

There is a question to be read on Susan’s face.

“No, I don’t mind you staying here tomorrow. Again, why do you need to ask? You stay here and relax and… I don’t mind. At all. You stay as long as you want. As long as you need.”

The hug Susan gives Freya shows her how grateful her friend is.

-

Smiling Freya enters her home the next evening. The smell of dinner has already reached her on the street.

"Welcome home Freya. There is chicken soup. And wok with chicken that is nearly ready as well."

She shakes her head when she walks into the kitchen. "You didn't have to..."

It makes Susan pull up her shoulders. "I know. But I wanted to."

They both know it is her way to say 'thank you'.

"Oh and... Rice pudding for dessert."

Freya's eyes widen and she giggles. "Oh nom nom. That has been ages ago."

They eat in silence. The radio on. Both sometimes hum or sing along with the cheerful songs they are playing.

"Do you have plans tomorrow evening?"

Susan shakes her head. "No. Not really. Liam was planning on going out with some friends. And, I hadn't really planned anything yet."

"We're going to a karaoke bar with some of ju-jitsu. Want to join us? I know you'll probably know no one else but me, but... It might be fun. Only if you're up to it though. I can understand if you don't feel like partying."

Her friend doesn't answer immediately. Instead she takes the plates and brings them to the kitchen.

"It might take my mind of things. Perhaps I'll join you."

They set themselves on the couch. "I'm not sure yet though. Perhaps I'll change my mind again tomorrow evening. I guess it will depend on how I feel tomorrow."

Freya nods. "Sure. No worries. I understand."

"Freya, you remember we said, a couple of weeks ago, that we wanted to see the Lord of the Ring trilogy again?"

She laughs when she looks aside. Noticing the playful look in Susan's eyes.

"Sure. Want to see these three movies now?"

Freya stands up already before hearing Susan's affirmative hum. Putting on the first - out of six, because it is the extended edition - DVD. She quickly makes her way to the kitchen again. "Any preference?"

"Fruit juice."

Just a couple of seconds later, Freya arrives back in the living room. Holding a tray with 2 glasses, a bottle of grape juice, a bottle of apple juice and a bottle of fruit juice. Two packs of crisps, some chocolates and the rice pudding Susan made.

"And don't worry. I have more in the cupboard. We'll make it through the marathon without a doubt."

Her friend's clear laughter echoes through the apartment.

-

"I'm on the highway to hell."

The sudden song that starts playing - it totally does not fit the scene they are watching - startles them. It takes them a while before they realize it is Susan's cell phone. They are giggling like little girls because it had startled them that much. Susan quickly falls silent when she sees who's calling her though.

Her thumb hovers above the green button. Hesitant to pick up.

"It's Liam..."

Freya looks at her watch. “It’s 2am. It’s the middle of the night...”

Her comment makes Susan smile.

“Hello?”

She looks apologetically at her friend before she stands up and goes to the guest room. It’s not as if Freya isn’t allowed to hear the conversation. It just talks a lot easier when there is no one sitting right next to you.

In the meanwhile Freya puts the DVD on hold. Taking the book she is reading from the table right next to her. She can get completely lost in the pages. For hours if there is no one to call her back.

“Sorry.”

Surprised she looks back up when Susan sets herself back down next to her. Of course she notices the happy smile on her face.

“No worries.”

Freya doesn’t voice it, doesn’t say the words, but Susan hears the question loud and clear.

“We’re okay. We’ll be back okay.”

She stays silent for some seconds, as if there’s something she can’t really believe. Turning big eyes on Freya. “He even promised me he’ll stop drinking.”

Smiling Freya leans over and hugs her. “I’m so glad. I’m so so glad.”

There is no need to say more when Susan returns the hug.

“Right, we continue our marathon?”

As if to answer her, Legolas fires some more arrows while Aragon’s sword slashes around.

-

They wake up on the couch. Cuddled in blankets. The TV still on.

“’Morning Freya.”

She grunts a reply. Rubbing her eyes and yawning. Taking a quick look on her watch. “12h30.”

Susan pulls her blanket closer around her. Looking up in surprise – eyes wide open and a little bit more awake all of a sudden – when she hears Freya curse.

“Training. I missed training.”

Laughing softly Susan sets herself up. Patting her friend’s head gently. “Disaster?”

The question makes Freya look at her in wonder. Before she starts laughing as well. “Not at all.”

“Oh by the way, can I come to that karaoke party this evening?”

Freya nods. “Sure.”

“And would you mind if I call Liam and ask if he and his friends want to come over as well?”

“Of course not. The more, the merrier.”




3 : Susan


They are yelling to one other. And for the first time in her life she has the urge to break something.

Her eyes narrow when he sets himself down on the couch. Not looking at her. She knows he’ll fall asleep any second now. Drunk as he is…

It is how the entire fight started. Him coming home drunk. She hates it when he’s drunk. So many times she has asked him to stop drinking. Well, not stop. Just, stop before getting drunk.

Soft snores reach her ears. There are tears running down her face. Sobs escaping her lips. She falls on her knees, hugging herself. Making up her mind…

All the things he just said. Yelled. They hurt her. They hurt so much. She knows he didn’t mean them. Knows he didn’t really mean a word of what he said. But he said it anyway...

Trembling she stands up again. There is a determined look on her face. Fragile. But sure.

Without wasting any more time she walks to her room. Taking a bag and putting some clothes in it. Taking her wallet, her cell phone, her keys.

She does not look back when she slams the front door shut and enters the darkness of the night. She is sure Liam hasn’t heard her leaving. She flinches thought. The sound is one of ending. And the worst thing of all that has happened, is that she doesn’t even know how much he’ll remember. Susan is sure he didn’t notice the pain and sadness in her eyes when they were arguing. How could he notice it in the drunken state he was in. It’s impossible. Or so she thinks…

For half an hour she wanders around town. Not knowing where she’s going. Until her feet guide her to Freya’s apartment. For a second she’s afraid her friend will sleep already. It’s 11pm already and she has to work tomorrow. It’s only Thursday evening after all.

She doesn’t want to bother Freya like this. But on the other hand. She has nowhere else to go. She can always go back to her parents. They wouldn’t mind – neither will Freya for that matter – but her mother will keep on asking her questions. Will keep on giving her advice and tell her what to do. She’ll…judge and condemn. And that is something she wouldn’t be able to handle for the moment.

Taking a deep breath she pushes the doorbell.

“Hello?”

“Hey Freya. It’s Susan…”

There is a surprised silence before Freya tells her to come in and opens the door. The buzz echoes loud through the street.

Quickly she closes the door behind her and walks up the stairs ‘till the second floor. Freya is waiting for her in the doorway. A concerned look on her face. Susan stands still before her. The concern increases when Freya sees the duffel bag that Susan puts down at her feet.

Without a word Freya takes the bag steps aside and Susan enters the apartment, stumbling a little.

The bag quickly finds a way in a corner of the hall.

“I’m sorry to suddenly pass by, without warning you, but I didn’t know where else I could go and…”

Looking aside she sees Freya shake her head while moving closer. The arms that hold her are gentle and comforting and it is all she needs right now. She hides her face against Freya’s shoulder, fists taking a hold of her friend’s T-shirt. Tears once more escaping. She feels how Freya rubs her back, hears the soothing noises she makes.

“Hey. Come on. Let’s get in the living room. I’ll make you a hot choco. And I still have some delicious chocolate cake. I think you can use that.”

There is a sad smile on her face when she brushes away the tears. “Yeah, I could do with some chocolate.”

She’s still mumbling to herself when Freya maker her way over to the kitchen while she sits on the couch.

It’s only when Freya hands her the cup of choco, that she looks up again.

“Do you want to stay the night?”

She nods once, grateful, before curling up her legs beneath her. Suddenly hesitantly.

“Are you sure?”

Freya nods. “Of course. You don’t have to ask. How can you ask?”

There is reprimand in Freya’s voice. Susan knows exactly why. But she can’t help it. She’s insecure. Has always been.

“Thank you.”

“It’s okay.”

Susan is grateful Freya doesn’t push. Her friend knows she’ll tell everything when she feels up to it.

She enjoys her hot choco and the chocolate cake. Neither of them is bothered by the silence.

It’s a soft sigh that escapes her after some more minutes. She’s pretty sure Freya hasn’t heard it. “I love him Freya.”

Out of the corner of her eyes she sees the surprised look on her face. Still she keeps her eyes fixed on the wall.

“I love that guy so much.”

“I know you do. Liam is a great guy.”

Susan nods. A dark cloud passing over her face. “Expect when he’s drunk.”

She doesn’t see the reaction of Freya. “I just… I just don’t want him to drink anymore.”

Shaking her head she goes on. “We had a fight. Partly because he was drunk again – I can’t stand it if he gets drunk. And he. He just flipped. Verbally.”

Her voice accusingly when she looks aside. Knowing Freya surely must have thought it. “He’d never hit me.”

Reassured when her friend nods. She knows Liam as well. She knows he’d never. Never...

“He was so rude. And mean. And… Even cruel. He has never spoken to me like that before. I have never heard him speak like that to anyone before.”

A sad smile when she feels Freya inch a little closer. “I don’t think he noticed I left. I packed my bag, my wallet and cell phone and keys and I left. I just left… And ended up in front of your door. So late in the evening. And you have to go to work tomorrow. And…”

Her friend interrupts her by placing a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t you dare apologizing. You know I don’t mind. You know I’m always here for you if you need me. Alright?”

Nodding once. “Thank you.”

Another silence. Freya’s presence by her side is enough. It works calming and gives her the space to breath.

“You should go to bed Freya. You have to go to work tomorrow. And, theoretically speaking, I have to go to school.”

The comment makes Freya roll her eyes. As she knew it would. “Theoretically speaking…”

She shrugs. “I know it’s my last year. And I can’t afford to screw up. But. One day? I really don’t feel like going tomorrow. Beside. Liam will be there. I don’t want to… I can’t face him yet Freya.”

There is understanding when Freya answers. Much more than she would have gotten from her mother. Mother would have made her go. Would have made her face him and talk it out. Or fight it out. Or even dump him. But she can’t. No matter how angry she is now. She cannot lose him...

She looks aside again, ready to ask if...

“No, I don’t mind you staying here tomorrow. Again, why do you need to ask? You stay here and relax and… I don’t mind. At all. You stay as long as you want. As long as you need.”

Smiling a little she hugs her friend. Knows the gesture is understood.

-

Susan looks at the clock on the wall. Five more minutes before Freya gets back home. Carefully she adds the noodles to the vegetable mix. She knows her friend loves wok just as much as she does.

Smiling she takes in the smell of dinner. Chicken soup. Wok with chicken. And rice pudding. There used to be a time you really couldn’t find her in a kitchen. Now she actually likes cooking.

She hears the door downstairs open. Just a minute later the door to the apartment opens.

"Welcome home Freya. There is chicken soup. And wok with chicken that is nearly ready as well."

The other girl shakes her head when she walks into the kitchen. “You didn’t have to...”

Pulling up her shoulders, Susan replies the answer both knew was about to come. "I know. But I wanted to."

She sees Freya look around the kitchen. "Oh and... Rice pudding for dessert."

Soft giggles behind her. "Oh nom nom. That has been ages ago."

The radio is the only sound while they are eating. Every now and then one of them hums or sings along. It makes them smile.

"Do you have plans tomorrow evening?”

Freya’s question makes Susan shake her head. She tries her best to keep the darkness from entering her eyes.

“No. Not really. Liam was planning on going out with some friends. And, I hadn't really planned anything yet."

She knows Freya has seen it though. There is little they can hide from each other.

"We're going to a karaoke bar with some of ju-jitsu. Want to join us? I know you'll probably know no one else but me, but... It might be fun. Only if you're up to it though. I can understand if you don't feel like partying."

Susan doesn’t reply. Instead she starts clearing the table. Knows her friend is just trying to help her and cheer her up.

"It might take my mind of things. Perhaps I'll join you. I'm not sure yet though. Perhaps I'll change my mind again tomorrow evening. I guess it will depend on how I feel tomorrow."

Freya nods when they sit back on the couch. "Sure. No worries. I understand."

There is a silence again. Susan doesn’t give it the time to last.

"Freya, you remember we said, a couple of weeks ago, that we wanted to see the Lord of the Ring trilogy again?"

Freya’s laugh makes her smile. Makes the sadness go away again.

"Sure. Want to see these three movies now?"

She’s up even before Susan has a chance to confirm it, putting the first DVD in the player before disappearing once more in the kitchen. “Any preference?”

“Fruit juice.”

Susan knows she’ll come back with at least 2 kind of juice and lots of sweets. She isn’t disappointed when Freya returns just a minute later.

"And don't worry. I have more in the cupboard. We'll make it through the marathon without a doubt."

Their laughter echoes through the room.

-

"I'm on the highway to hell."

A soft yelp escapes her lips when she hears the song and feels her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. Quickly she takes it out, giggling – together with Freya – until she reads his name.

Liam.

Not knowing whether to pick up or not. Part of her is dying to hear him. The other part is... scared.

“It’s Liam...”

Freya looks at her watch. “It’s 2am. It’s the middle of the night...”

The comment makes her smile. Liam calling this late – and still not having hung up after ten rings – means he’s serious. It means he loves her and he’s sorry and he wants her back. It’s all that really matters. It’s all she needs to pick up her courage and answer.

“Hello?”

An apologetically look at her friend before walking over to the room Freya gave her to crash down.

“Susan...”

He sounds lost. It nearly makes her smile.

“Liam.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so so very sorry.”

She sets herself on the bed. Letting her back rest against the wall. Closing her eyes. He has never sounded so sincere before. Except when he first told her he loved her.

“I don’t know what came over me. I hurt you. I really hurt you. I saw it in your eyes. And yet I did not react to that. I just went on and on and on. And... I am sorry. I am so sorry. Please... Forgive me.”

Susan stays silent for a while. Surprised he noticed it. Surprised at hearing all this. Liam usually is no good with words.

“Promise me one thing before I forgive you.”

She hears his sharp intake of breath. Gives him time to react.

“Anything.”

Smiling she feels tears running down her cheeks. Just hearing his voice. Just hearing his voice...

“Never get drunk again.”

It’s not hard to imagine the look on his face right now. He was prepared for something much worse.

“Never again Susan. I swear. Never again.”

“Liam.”

“Yeah?”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry too...”

He knows what she’s talking about. “Don’t. You don’t have to apologise. You were right. Completely right. I stepped out of line. I shouldn’t have... I should have listened. I truly am sorry.”

“I love you Liam.”

Smiling she brushes away the tears.

“I love you too.”

He doesn’t ask it. She doesn’t say it. They both know Susan needs a little more time away. But they also know it will be alright again. It was a serious fight. But trust and love was not yet broken. It will be alright. Soon.

When she enters the living room again, she sees the movie was halted in the middle of an action scene. Freya completely absorbed by a book.

“Sorry.”

She laughs when Freya looks up in surprise. As if she has to come back from another world and focus on this one again.

“No worries.”

It only takes one look on her face to know everything there needs to be said. They don’t need words. Not much at least. Susan still voices it though. It feels too good not to...

“We’re okay. We’ll be back okay.”

She bites her lower lips. Smiles unbelievingly. “He even promised me he’ll stop drinking.”

They both know the nuance between drinking and being drunk. But it doesn’t matter.

Smiling Freya wraps her arms around her. “I’m so glad. I’m so so glad.”

Returning the hug is all the answer Freya needs.

“Right, we continue our marathon?”

-

Susan wakes up when the clock of the neighbors chimes 12 times. Looking around. It takes her a while to remember.

She looks at the TV – Lord of the Rings marathon. Looks at Freya –cuddled in blankets, just like herself.

Yawning she lets her head rest against the backrest of the coach again. Falling half asleep again until a sudden movement at the other end makes her open her eyes again.

“’Morning Freya.”

The grunt she gets as a reply makes her laugh softly. She cuddles back into her blanket when Freya yawns and rubs her eyes before checking her watch. “12h30.”

Freya cursing makes her look up again. Eyes wide open.

“Training. I missed training.”

Susan set herself back up, laughing, before patting the other girl’s head. “Disaster?”

A look of surprise crosses Freya’s face when she looks at her. Before she too laughs and shakes her head. “Not at all.”

“Oh by the way, can I come to that karaoke party this evening?”

Freya nods “Sure.”

“And would you mind if I call Liam and ask if he and his friends want to come over as well?”

“Of course not. The more, the merrier.”

-

“Freya. Can I borrow that light blue dress of yours?”

She’s standing in front of the open closet. Her fingers tracing the soft material. Freya’s voice floats towards her from the bathroom where she is brushing her teeth.

“Of course.”

Smiling she clasps her hands in delight. “Thank you!” She holds the dress in front of her body. Twirling around.

“That works better if you actually wear it.”

Sticking out her tongue when hearing Freya’s teasing.

“So, is Liam coming?”

Susan nods. “Yeah, I hope you don’t mind some of his friends will come as well?”
Freya shakes her head. “As I said before : the more, the merrier.”

Her friend brushes some hair behind her ear. “Now come on. Let’s go or we’ll be late.”

Susan takes a hold of Freya’s arm when they walk to the karaoke bar. Luckily it’s not that far from her friend’s place. They arrive ten minutes later.




4 : Liam


He turns around. Eyes flashing. His hand raised. Slamming it back down on the table. Ignoring the pain that flares through his arm.

They are yelling to one other. There are words escaping his lips he’d never say – never even think – if he’d been sober. But the alcohol has troubled his mind and perception and for the moment he just doesn’t care.

He can see the pain in her eyes. Can see the tears running down Susan’s face. But for the moment it doesn’t registers. He doesn’t even notice her silence.

Setting himself down on the couch, still cursing at her. The next thing he knows he wakes up shivering. His head hurts when he opens his eyes. The bright light of day filling the living room. A look at his watch tells him he is late for his first class.

Quickly he gets up, swaying when black spots dance before his eyes. His hand reaches out, steadying him against the wall.

"Susan?"

There comes no answer. And he feels - deep down - that this is not right. But he tries to sooth himself with the thought that she has left for school already. He knows though, that she'd never walk out without waking him up. Susan always makes sure he doesn't miss classes.

The cold shower is something he desperately needs and he is still shivering when he dries off and gets ready to leave. No breakfast today. His stomach would not like that very much.

Liam arrives at university half an hour later. Just in time for his second class of the day.

-

"Liam, what's the matter? You're so easily distracted today..."

He turns his head when he hears his class mate's voice, confused. "Wha..."

"Really. You're not acting as your normal self."

Shaking his head, Liam doesn't reply and once more continues staring into space. Seeing every move in the room. Waiting for a sign of Susan.

"Liam."

Eyes closed for a second. Hands balled to fists. "Just leave me alone. Alright. I don't want to talk about it."

He can see the surprise and the hurt on his friends' faces. And he immediately regrets it. But what he regrets even more is what happened last night. The fight with Susan. The yelling, the things he said, the urge to destroy something. The fact that he saw how much he hurt her and he didn't care. The fact that he didn't apologise at the end. The fact that he didn't hear her leave...

There are tears shimmering in his eyes when he thinks back to yesterday evening. Of course his friends notice it.

Abruptly he stands up, his chair nearly falling on the ground, walking away without a word. The others don't try to stop him.

He wanders around the campus, trying to catch a glimpse of Susan. Knowing –somehow – that she is not there. No one needs to tell him that. He knows her well enough.

-

“Susan?”

He tries to keep the desperation out of his voice when he calls her name upon entering their apartment.

Her classes finish half an hour before his. And she’s always home before him. Always. The silence that greets him now is… devastating.

Carefully he opens the door to the bedroom – hoping against knowing that she’ll be there. He closes his eyes for a second when he sees the made-up bed. The closet open. Some of her clothes lying on the ground before it. In his mind’s eye he can see how she quickly took some clothes and put them in a bag, how in her hurry some fell to the ground and how she was crying too hard to be bothered to pick them up.

“Susan…”

It is the softest of whispers that escape his lips when he leans against the door. Feeling as if his legs won’t be able to support him for much longer, he sets himself down. Pulling up his knees, wrapping his arms around them and letting his head rest on them.

He stays like that ‘till the night falls. And still no sign of Susan. It is half past one when he finally looks up again. Eyes red from silently crying.

Liam fishes his cell phone out of his pocket. His fingers type her number out of automatism. Before he shakes his head and deletes it. Instead he calls the one other person he wants to hear. The one person who wouldn’t mind getting a phone call in the middle of the night.

“Hello?”

The sleepy voice at the other end of the line nearly makes him smile.

“Hey Nick.”

Of course his friend hears the desperation in his voice. He’d have known anyway. They never call in the middle of the night unless it was really necessary.

“Liam. What’s the matter?”

There is concern in Nick’s voice. And Liam can imagine how he sets himself up in his bed. Head resting against the wall because he’s still tired.

“She left.”

There is no easy way to say this. So he just does.

“Left? What do you mean left?”

Liam feels the tears threatening to escape again.

“She left. She took a bag, with some clothes and her wallet and cell phone and keys and she left.”

Silence. For a moment.

“Oh gosh. You don’t mean that.”

Another silence. There is no need for him to reply.

“Fuck. Liam I’m sorry to hear.”

He wants to say something. But the words get stuck in his throat while tears are rolling down his cheeks.

“Liam.”

He can’t hold back the soft sobs that are escaping. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. Don’t you dare apologizing.”

Of course Liam catches the double meaning behind the words.

“Want to come over?”

He’s grateful Nick doesn’t push him. That he gives him time to get his voice steady again. He’s enormously grateful for the offer.

“No, it’s okay. I won’t hold you up any longer.”

“Oh for Heaven’s sake Liam. You know this doesn’t bother me.”

This time there is a small chuckle leaving his lips.

“Honest. Want to come over? I can make pizza. There’s coke. Or fruit juice.”

Liam laughs. He can’t help it. Laughs while he cries. And the mention of pizza in the middle of the night is so typically them that he wants to hug Nick.

“Get your ass over here Liam. Send me a text when you’ve arrived and I’ll select some movies in the meanwhile.”

Smiling he brushes away the tears. “Thanks Nick.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He puts down his phone and finally rises again. His legs are feeling like jelly.

Without thinking he calls Susan’s number. Nervously he waits. Three rings. Four rings. Five. Six.

It takes more than ten rings before she finally picks up. And he would have waited even longer…

"Hello?"

Her voice trembles. It makes him want to reach out for her and hug her and never let her go.

"Susan..."

His free hand is shaking and he balls it to a fist.

"Liam."

Hearing her voice is all it takes to start.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so very sorry. I don't know what came over me. I hurt you. I really hurt you. I saw it in your eyes. And yet I did not react to that. I just went on and on and on. And... I am sorry. I am so sorry. Please... Forgive me."

Liam falls silent. He's never been a good talker. Susan's silence nearly kills him. So when she finally speaks again, he can barely suppress a sigh of relieve.

"Promise me one thing before I forgive you."

A sharp intake of breath. Though there is no reason to doubt. And he doesn't hesitate. He has nothing to lose. She's his world and he'll do anything for her.

"Anything."

He might have an idea what she might ask. On the other hand...

"Never get drunk again."

Liam smiles a little. It was a promise he already made while he discovered she had gone and he sat waiting for her.

"Never again Susan. I swear. Never again."

He can easily imagine the look on her face.

"Liam."

"Yeah?"

He hears her intake of breath.

"I'm sorry too..."

Liam shakes his head. Even though he knows she can't see it. "Don't. You don't have to apologise. You were right. Completely right. I stepped out of line. I shouldn't have... I should have listened. I truly am sorry."

He means it. Every word.

"I love you Liam."

Hearing these words... He can't describe what it does to him. It makes his heart flutter and he feels like such a fool. Wondering how he could have ever done what he did last night. Wondering what he'd have done if she'd gone away and didn't want to come back.

"I love you too."

He doesn't ask it. Please come home. She doesn't say it. Not yet. Tomorrow. But not now.

-

Smiling he cycles to Nick's place. It's later than both of them expected him to arrive. He knows his friend won't mind too much though. Might even have guessed the reason already.

Quickly he types a message when he arrives at the front door. "Ding Dong." It's probably all Nick needs to know about his mood.

"You took your time."

It said with a smile.

"I called her."

"Yeah, I figured. Come in."

Smiling Liam walks inside. His eyes widen when he takes in the smell of pizza filling the living room.

“You actually meant that! You’ve put pizzas in the oven?”

Liam laughs. Almost carefree. It makes Nick smile.

“So, want to talk about it?”

It takes him a while, but eventually he starts talking.

“I was drunk yesterday. Really drunk. And I...”

He can see his friend's eyes widen. And he can easily read his thoughts. It is what everyone would think.

“I didn’t hit her, if that is what you are thinking.”

It makes Nick shake his head.

“It crossed my mind for a second, but the thought was gone again before I could really think about it. It’s not you. And I’ve known you drunk. You’d never hit her. Never.”

Liam is grateful for his words. It means a hell of a lot that he believes him.

"I'd never hit her. I said some mean stuff to her though. I don’t remember the entire conversation, but the parts that I do remember... I’ve said some very cruel stuff to her."

He still can't believe all he said to her. Still can't believe how much he hurt her. And the fact that he - at that moment - didn't really care.

"I’m not going to repeat what I said. Not even to you. Not now. Perhaps later. But... I fell asleep without realising she left.”

He can see his friend wants to interrupt. He quickly continues though.

“Yes, she left last night. Not now. Not this night. It is only now that I realised it. I was at university the entire day. Like always. And so was she. I think. She wasn’t home when I came back. I tried to convince myself she’d come back a little later. That she went training, or visited some friends, or had an extra class...”

They go to the kitchen when the oven beeps. Taking out the pizza and walking back to the living room.

“It wasn’t until after dinner – when she still wasn’t home – that I dared to admit it to myself. She wasn’t coming home and she had taken a bag with her. She wasn’t planning on coming back. I was devastated. I can’t live without her Nick. I can’t.”

His friend's hand on his shoulder is reassuring. Even though Liam already knows...

“You called her after calling me. Before coming over. What did she say. What did you say?”

The smile that breaks through again is an honest one. It always is when he thinks about her.

“I told her I’m sorry. And I told her I love her. And I said I’ve been a fool and I was sorry and I didn’t know what to do if she’d leave me and...”

He closes his eyes. “She said she was sorry as well. For something she said before I started freaking out. And she said it was alright. And that she loved me. And...”

Looking back up. “She made me promise something.”

Nick looks questioningly at him.

"You'll be happy about it."

His friend probably suspects something.

"I promised I'd stop drinking."

They both know he just means stop drinking before getting drunk. He sees the smile on Nick's face when he puts their plates on the table and hugs him. "I'm glad."

Liam pats him on the back after some seconds and frees himself out of his friend's hold. "Right. It’s late. Or better said, early. You want to go back to sleep?”

“No, I’m pretty much awake right now. We put on a movie?”

“Sure, I’m not yet tired.”

Nick walks over to the DVD player. Showing the first movie of the Star Wars. Liam nods. He just loves these movies.

“For how much are we going to bet we’ll be sleeping on the couch before we’re halfway the movie?”

Laughing Nick sets himself back down. Looking surprised when Liam puts his hand on his arm.

“Are you sure your parent’s won’t mind when they get down in a few hours?”

“No. I think not. And if they do. Well... Don’t mind that.”

Of course Liam hears what Nick is not voicing.

“You needed this. And you’re my best friend. How could I not help you out here?”

-

“Morning boys.”

Nick's mother cheerfully greets the two boys sleeping on the couch, swinging open the curtains. Rubbing his eyes Liam yawns. They managed to reach the second movie. They didn't manage on finishing it though.

“Are you alright Liam?”

Liam smiles and nods. She loves her like his own mother.

“Yes, I am. Thank you.”

His smile is answered by her own.

“I'll make breakfast. Anyone a special order?”

“Oh, scrambled eggs, please.”

His friend grunts and shakes his head when he hears Liam so cheerful and awake. It makes his mother laugh when she faces him. “And for you?”

Nick shakes his head. “Nothing for the moment. But thanks.”

Liam hits his shoulder. “You need to eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

It just results in risen eyebrows.

“As is lunch and dinner.”

Laughing Liam rolls his eyes. Catching the wink of Nick's mother.

“But that’s not the point. You have to eat something.”

“Don’t worry Liam. I will. In an hour or something. Not now. Not yet. It’s too early and I really can’t get any food inside for the moment.”

Liam just pulls up his shoulders. Knowing an argument will be waste of time.

“Any plans this evening? We are meeting up with some friends. If you want to join us?”

Nick shakes his head. “Sorry, we’re going to a karaoke bar this evening with some from ju-jitsu. But you’re always welcome to come over as well with the entire gang.”

There is a mischievous look on Liam's face.

“I’m going to regret saying that, am I not?”

Liam laughs. “Hell yes you are.”




5 : Karaoke Night


“Hey Nick! You made it.”

He smiles when he hears Rob call out for him. Quickly he makes his way over to where the others of ju-jitsu are sitting.

“Am I last?”

They nod and he orders an ice-tea when the waitress passes by.

“Where’s Freya?"

Without a word they point to the dance floor and he shakes his head. He should have known, really.

Freya has two loves in her life. Fighting. And dancing. Oh, and swimming. But she does that for fun. Nick’s eyes widen when he sees Susan on the dance floor, next to Freya, trying to talk and dance at the same time.

He sees Freya laugh before shaking her head, signalling that she can’t understand a word that Susan is saying. She takes a hold of the other girl’s arm and guides her off the dance floor, towards the tables where they are sitting.

“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t catch the last part…”

Susan smiles and jerks her head to the door.

“I said, Liam has arrived.”

They look at the entrance, Nick follows their gazes. Liam and a bunch of friends are walking towards them.

For a second there is an uncomfortable silence between them. Until Susan smiles and takes his hand, pulling him over to the dance floor where someone just started singing a romantic song.

Liam follows without protest, passing his coat and hat to Nick when they pass him with a quick “Thanks buddy.”

Nick laughs and throws it in the corner of the couch, where all their stuff is lying. Out of the corner of his eyes he can see the surprised look on Freya’s face.

Turning around again he smiles at her. “Want to dance?”

“Sure!”

She sticks her tongue out to the rest of their friends, earning herself a questioning look from Nick.

Giggling she walks over to the dance floor. “They said I was crazy for wanting to dance in a karaoke bar. That nobody would be dancing here. But look…”

She lets her arm sweep around, indicating the crowded floor.

“And now you asked me for a dance. It proved them wrong again.”

Nick laughs and they start dancing. The song having changed from a slow to rock& roll. And that is something they both know how to dance on.

He lets her twirl around. Is glad that the music is not as loud anymore as when they entered. Someone must have complained. At least now they can talk while dancing.

He smiles a greeting when Susan waves at him. Catches the wink of Liam.

“I can’t believe Liam is your best friend.”

Again the question is clearly visible on his face.

“While Susan is mine…”

Nick laughs. “Serious?”

She nods while he makes her swirl again. They applaud when the song ends, the girl that was singing bows to them, a blush on her face.

“Hey Freya. Hey Nick.”

The same surprised look on their faces. “You two know each other?”

“We train together.”

Susan’s eyes widen. “Oh! So he is your training’s partner?”

Freya nods, wrapping her arm around Nick’s waist. “He is.”

They walk back to their place. The others having put four tables next to each other. Ju-jitsu and Liam’s friends. All together. All talking and laughing as if they have known each other for years.

“So, who is going to sing first?”

Freya shrinks back in her seat, softly kicking Susan’s leg under the table. Of course her friend understands what she means.

“I thought we voted last training.”

She smiles gratefully at Nick.

“Rob!”

The others keep on chanting Rob’s name. He accepts his fate graciously, walking onto the stage, selecting a song.

Nick is the first one to notice the mischievous look on his face and he grunts softly.

“We are going to regret this…”

As soon as the first notes echo through the room, Freya closes off her ears with her hands. “He can’t be serious…”

Laughing Nick pulls her hands away. “You can go do better next then.”

She shoots him a glare.

“Don’t worry Freya. All of us are going to sing. Nothing to be ashamed of if you can’t sing. We all know Rob can’t.”

Everybody flinches when he hits a false note.

“Everyone knows I can’t. So, don’t worry. We’re with friends. We don’t care.”

Susan laughs softly next to her when they hear one of the guys from ju-jitsu try and reassure Freya.

“Sure. Thanks Tom.”

No one but Susan, Nick and Liam know Freya actually sings gorgeously. A talent she inherited from her mother.

Finally the song ends – and of course every one applauds – if only for the show Rob pulled off on stage.

“You were awesome Rob!”

The guy smiles and sets himself back down. A stranger having taken over his place.

“Freya. You weren’t at training this morning.”

She shakes her head, seeing the surprised look on Nick’s face, wondering why he looks at her that way. “No, sorry. I overslept.”

Rob shakes his heads. Before facing Nick.

“And Nick. You weren’t either.”

He smiles when he looks at Freya. “No, sorry. I overslept.”

There is a look of understanding between them and Susan and Liam. Of course they know what the others of ju-jitsu are thinking.

“What a coincidence…”

There is mocking disbelieve in Rob’s voice and on the faces of the others. It makes both of them smile. Nick is the first to defend them though.

“I wasn’t with Freya last night, guys.”

“Yeah right…”

Susan laughs when she sees them roll their eyes, not believing it. She receives questioning looks. It makes Freya laugh as well.

“What?”

She shakes her head. Placing her hand on Nick’s shoulder.

“Nothing. I know you won’t believe us, no matter what we say. But. It’s true. I had a Lord of the Rings marathon with Susan.”

Nick quickly follows up. “And I was watching the Star Wars movies with Liam.”

The others look from Freya and Nick to Susan and Liam. Pondering. Wondering if this other coincidence could be true.

“Whatever you say.”

Freya shrugs. “Told you, you wouldn’t believe us.”

Rob shakes his head. “No, but it doesn’t matter. Because it is Nick’s turn to sing.”

Smiling Nick stands up and walks to the stage. The wink he shoots Freya is a mischievous one.

“Ladies and gentlemen.”

The bar falls silent. And Freya shakes her head.

“I’d like to sing a duet. So, if my lovely training’s partner and good friend would like to come up here as well.”

There are catcall from all around her and Freya glares at Susan when she and Liam push her to the stage. She walks up to her training’s partner, hitting his shoulder. Not that hard. She’ll reserve that for next training.

“You are so dead next training.”

Nick laughs softly and selects a song. It’s one she knows by heart. Quickly she shoots him another glare before stepping up to the microphone.

She’s nervous. Though not for the reasons the others think. It is the first time they’ll hear her sing. Really sing. Hell, it’s the first time in ages that she will sing again. Really sing again. She gave up on it a couple of years ago.
The entire group falls silent when she joins Nick’s voice. She can see Susan and Liam give her a thumb up. It makes her smile. Puts her on ease again. Looking aside her eyes lock with Nick’s. His presence is calming as well.

She forgets everything when the song continues. Forgets the fact they are in a karaoke bar. Forgets there are people – strangers and friends alike – who are hearing her sing. It doesn’t matter. What matters is standing next to Nick and doing what she likes to do. Singing.

It’s only when the last notes fade and the applause echoes through the bar that she suddenly feels shy again. She looks down and tries to hide the blush when she steps of the stage and sets herself back down next to Susan.

“Wonderful Freya. Truly wonderful.”

Susan’s hand on her shoulder is warm and she smiles when looking up again. The shocked looks on the faces of the others around the table nearly makes her laugh.

“It has been ages ago since I last heard you sing. Sing for real, I mean. Not the humming everybody does when hearing a good sung. Thank you for joining me.”

Again she punches his arm.

“How could I not have joined you when you say it that way. I had no choice.”

Of course she can read the look on Nick’s face when he raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah, everyone has a choice and I could have refused. But that would have been
so... silly.”

Looking aside she sees how Susan and Liam are holding hands. And for a second she feels a stab of pain. Taking a deep breath to stop her own hand from taking a hold on Nick’s.

Of course Susan sees. Of course Susan knows. The look on her face is one of concern. And it doesn’t go away – not even when Freya smiles reassuringly.

“Freya. Care to dance some more?”

Smiling she nods, accepting Nick’s outstretched hand to help her up. Not letting go when they walk to the dance floor. She can’t bring herself to let go...