Name: shadowsong26
Story: you greet grief as almost an old friend
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Spring Green #17. I am the one who will remember everything (with paint-by-numbers from bookblather: Keta and loss.), Color of the Day (reverence)
Supplies and Materials: graffiti (October Bingo square 'bone'), photography, paint-by-numbers, chiaroscuro, charcoal, seed beads, frame (1015 FY), calendar (Death/Duty Day; Remembrance Day), resin
Word Count: 298
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Keta
Warnings: References to (a lot of) character death
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always.


you greet grief as almost an old friend,
as you bury another sister
(the third to die; the other two
are lost to you in other ways).

you'd like to wish you'd been here
to bear witness to her pain;
to hold her hand;
so she was not so alone
(tana has always been alone, you think;
no matter how much you've tried
to hold her hand for twenty years.)

and part of you does.
you love your sister,
and you know there was pain,
and you know you might have made it
easier to bear
even if she would have shoved you away;
refused to let you help;
her rage and pride driving her
driving her
driving her on
until even that could not sustain her anymore.

but part of you does not;
the decades-old memory of your mother's broken body
falling before you
falling
falling--
it haunts you.
you do not know that you could survive that.
not again.

but grief remains your friend.
you offer it your hand, as you have so many times before.
for two other sisters
three brothers
a mother
a father
a husband
a son.
it offers you cold comfort, perhaps,
but comfort nonetheless.
a space to feel the loss.
and breathe.
and remember--and love--them all.

you are grateful that you have a body to bury
(this has not always been so);
that this grave is not barred to you
(as all the others now are);
that, even if you could not comfort your baby sister in her last days,
you can come to her here, time and again.
let her know she's not alone.
that you and your old friend grief are here;
will always be here.

and perhaps, finally
your youngest sister
with her wild rage and pride
might
at last
find peace.