Author: Kat
Title: just remember now
Story: Shine Like It Does
Colors: Color of the day (amendatory), daffodil 1 (April showers)
Supplies and Materials: Graffiti (Lilith Faire Day 3: Ashes On Your Eyes, Deb Talen), stickers (Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid)
Word Count: 650
Rating: PG
Summary: Jack comforts Charlotte.
Warning: language, depression.
Notes: I haven't really gotten into this phase of Charlotte's life before, but this is just before she moves to Georgia.


Charlotte lies in bed and watches her brother pack away a bookcase, slotting books into a cardboard box with practiced ease. She doesn’t know where Miranda is- maybe dealing with the leasing office, with her new law degree and sharp clever mind. Somewhere doing something for Charlotte.

She ought to be handling this herself. It’s her life and her problem. But she can’t seem to make herself move.

Jack folds the box shut, stretches upright to pop his back, then crosses the room to sit on the bed beside her. “One down,” he says. “What, fifteen to go?”

She knows it’s a joke, she really does. But she starts crying anyway.

“Oh, Carlita,” he says. His voice is so kind that Charlotte pulls the pillow over her face. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” she sobs. “I should fix this myself, I should--”

Jack interrupts her with a squeeze to her shoulder. “You did. You called us.”

“That’s not fixing it.” That’s leaning on her siblings, who she loves more than life, who love her enough to drop everything and fly cross-country to help her move. She needs to apply for jobs, pack her books, make tea, do something other than let them handle everything, or they’ll hate her. She certainly hates herself.

“Yes, it is,” Jack says. He leans down to hug her, resting his head against her shoulder. “You forget, I know how you feel right now.”

She pulls the pillow away from her face and stares at his serious expression, so close to her own face. What lover of his has ever used him and dumped him and laughed openly at him for believing? When has he ever had to run?

The words she doesn’t and won’t say must show on her face, because Jack laughs a little sourly. He rearranges the both of them until he is lying next to her, nose-to-nose with his arm still over her shoulder, then says, “You’re depressed, sweetheart. You know I go through that. Remember when the band broke up and I couldn’t get out of bed?”

She does, but… “You didn’t make me do everything for you.”

“Who says you’re making us?” He rubs his nose against hers. “We’re here because we want to be. Because you asked, yeah, but I’d die for you, and I know Miranda would too even if she’d never say so. This is easy in comparison. Piece of cake.”

His earnest face is too much. Charlotte wants to pull the pillow back over her face again, but she doesn’t, because it would hurt him. “I haven’t earned this,” she whispers.

Jack goes still for a moment, then sighs. “You don’t need to earn anything,my love,” he says. “You just need to be you. That’s all.”

That breaks her.

She doesn’t know how long she cries, her face buried in her brother’s shoulder, while he holds her and sings nonsense songs she thinks he’s making up on the spot. Her eyes hurt when she finally pulls away, and her nose is running, leaving trails of tears and snot on Jack’s shirt. He doesn’t even blink.

“I know it hurts,” he tells her, rubbing her back. “I know how much it hurts. But I promise you this- it’s almost over. This is the hangover. It feels awful, but it’s ending. It’ll be over soon. And we will be here until you feel able to get up again, okay? And there’s nothing you can do to make us not want to do that for you. Nothing at all.”

Charlotte closes her eyes and leans forward, resting her forehead against his. “Even if I can’t… if it’s years?”

“Even if it’s years,” Jack confirms. “Of course, if it takes that long it’ll probably just be me here. Andy has like, a grownup job and shit.”

She laughs, wetly, but it is a laugh, and she knows he smiles.